Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Disruptive grace

This morning, I was reading an article in Steve McVey's December 2007 newsletter entitled The Gift.

In it, Steve said, "Someone has rightly said that grace which isn't disruptive isn't really grace." Then, he went on to discuss how Mary's life was changed after she learned that she was to become the mother of Jesus. "Mary had to die to a lot as the baby Jesus grew inside her. She died to the way she had anticipated her life would unfold. She had to die to her reputation. She died to the right to manage or even understand her life's circumstances."

My life today looks nothing like I once envisioned it would be. So much of it is better than I could have dreamed it would be but there are still those areas that I would change if I could and . . . I've tried but they still haven't changed. As Nicole said in her godblog, life is unpredictable. It bothers me when I don't have everything laid out in a neat little package. I like to be in control but life has a way of shaking up my plans and then I have to look to see where Father is in all of this and sometimes I can't see him but he's always there.

At one time, I struggled and fought to achieve what I thought I wanted and needed but now I'm learning to follow wherever he may lead. Sometimes it takes me a while to decide to follow but I've found that he's patient and will give me the time I need. Learning to give up my hopes and dreams has been a process - painful at times - but I'm slowly learning to be content with what I've been given and not stress over what I don't have.

Steve said, "Let us agree with His Spirit that we will gladly embrace every disruptive aspect of grace that shakes us out of our comfort zones, breaking away the things that interfere with living as our authentic selves, and causing us to come to more fully and intimately know Him."

In order to know Father better, I'm learning to allow him to free me from those things which I'm holding onto that hold me back and to instead embrace the life which has given me.


Bino B. Manjasseril said...

Its absolutely true that grace is disruptive. It caused a lot of disruption in my own life as I have recently blogged about it. It is something what it shakes the norm of today's religion.
I am glad it did in my life and still doing it. I enjoy it though!

Aida said...

Hi Bino,

I don't know if I can say that I always enjoy the disruption. I've come to see how inflexible I can be at times. When things don't go my way, I don't always see Father working in the circumstances and I become frustrated. It's only when I stop and turn my attention to him that I get to a place of rest and then I am at peace knowing that Father has it all under control.

I love what you shared in your blog. "A risky ocean of grace." I like that. I want to swim out into the deep waters of grace where I have to totally depend on the life of Jesus in me. You're right. It is risky, disruptive and dangerous but the results are so worth any pain.

Thanks for sharing.


Nicole's Godblog said...

Aida, very good thoughts!

I too struggle with wanting to be in control and having a nice and tidy plan for everything, but I am learning to understand that, that isn't how Father works and the hardest part for me laying down that control and trusting Father where ever he may lead. It's kinda reminds me of my GPS I got for Christmas, I may type in there an address or place that I have never been before and have to trust the GPS to take me directly to the address I directed it to go even if I am not sure if we are headed the right direction or not. Father is like that in my life in a lot of ways. If I make the decision to listen to his lead and trust that he will get me to where I need to be, than I have no worries. That is harder than it sounds, but the outcome of folowing him is priceless and far worth risking my control!

Love You,
Love, Nicki!

Aida said...

Hi Nicki,

Giving up control is probably the hardest thing I have to do and it doesn't happen overnight. I wish it did but I'm finding that it's a constant decision to let go in every circumstance. However, the further I go on this journey, the easier it gets. Never totally easy but it is easier.

I love your analogy of the GPS. That's what this walk of faith is . . . a constant re-adjusting of the direction that we're going in as we follow the gentle nudgings of the Spirit.

Love back to you,