This morning, I was reading an article in Steve McVey's December 2007 newsletter entitled The Gift.
In it, Steve said, "Someone has rightly said that grace which isn't disruptive isn't really grace." Then, he went on to discuss how Mary's life was changed after she learned that she was to become the mother of Jesus. "Mary had to die to a lot as the baby Jesus grew inside her. She died to the way she had anticipated her life would unfold. She had to die to her reputation. She died to the right to manage or even understand her life's circumstances."
My life today looks nothing like I once envisioned it would be. So much of it is better than I could have dreamed it would be but there are still those areas that I would change if I could and . . . I've tried but they still haven't changed. As Nicole said in her godblog, life is unpredictable. It bothers me when I don't have everything laid out in a neat little package. I like to be in control but life has a way of shaking up my plans and then I have to look to see where Father is in all of this and sometimes I can't see him but he's always there.
At one time, I struggled and fought to achieve what I thought I wanted and needed but now I'm learning to follow wherever he may lead. Sometimes it takes me a while to decide to follow but I've found that he's patient and will give me the time I need. Learning to give up my hopes and dreams has been a process - painful at times - but I'm slowly learning to be content with what I've been given and not stress over what I don't have.
Steve said, "Let us agree with His Spirit that we will gladly embrace every disruptive aspect of grace that shakes us out of our comfort zones, breaking away the things that interfere with living as our authentic selves, and causing us to come to more fully and intimately know Him."
In order to know Father better, I'm learning to allow him to free me from those things which I'm holding onto that hold me back and to instead embrace the life which has given me.