Sunday, February 24, 2008

Learning to be Me

Ever since I can remember, I've been a people pleaser. I tried to please my parents, I tried to please my friends and teachers and I tried to please my husband and children. I've also tried to please God. The result was I was tired, frustrated and insecure. Somehow, in all of this, I got lost. I put on so many different faces that I never was really sure who I was.

These last few years, Father has been freeing me. He's been showing me that it's okay to be me. I've gotten to the place that I really like myself. Of course, there are things about myself that I would like to see change but I don't tend to stress about them any more. I know Father is still at work in me and, as I learn and grow in him, I'll see more and more freedom being released through my life.

I decided to blog about this because of some comments made by Joel and Livingsword on Joel's The answer is always B - 2/22/08 post. They discussed their blogs and the reason they blog. I thought it was interesting because I had never really thought about why I started blogging other than the fact that everyone seem to be having such a good time doing it. Joel made a statement that really resonated with me. He said, "The "extracurricular" things I put on my blog are not really an evangelism tool, so to speak, to attract others, but rather are simply things that represent a part of my personality."

That really stood out to me and, as I started thinking about the different blogs I keep up with, I can see pictures of the different personalities and interests. For example, Julie posted a recipe on her blog. Not only does the recipe sound yummy but it was an expression of the unique life of Jesus in her.

Blogging is an opportunity for me to express my unique personality. I'm free to be as serious or as unexpected as I want to be as the life of Jesus combined with my personality flows out of me. As with any adventure that Jesus initiates, I have no idea where this will lead but I do know that I'm glad he's invited me to go along with him on this journey of discovery.


Bino B. Manjasseril said...

I smell some freedom here! :)
Yes, I agree with you and many others who are part of this Grace community that these blogs can certainly represent our personality. The things we post do not require to be religious or spiritual all the time. A recipe, some pictures, songs, jokes anything of that sort. Though I myself is not a music person, I have enjoyed some great songs posted by some. It can be talking about our coffee addiction, or some other addiction or anything of that sort.

These last few years, Father has been freeing me. He's been showing me that it's okay to be me. I've gotten to the place that I really like myself.

Praise God!

Nicole's Godblog said...

Aida! You and I are a lot a like! I too have been a person pleaser. I would always try to do things beyong what just a person would do for others, I would try to stick out in the croud, and that isn't how Father wants me to live. I want to be who I am through who God is. I want to be myself and say things and do things not for attention or not for other people, but for who I am. I love how you said it, "He's been showing me that it's okay to be me. I've gotten to the place that I really like myself." I think that is where my heart is also. I want to like myself for who I am and not how others see me or what I do and that is OKAY. That speaks mountains upon mountains of wisdom to my heart and I love it!

I love who you are Aida, and you encourage me every step of the way into becoming who I am and liking who I am in Father!

Love You!

Love, Nicole!

Aida said...

Bino, I'm definitely experiencing greater freedom and it's wonderful.

I'm really enjoying seeing the variety of subjects that have been posted and the way the different blogs are developing. I feel like I'm getting to know all of you a little bit better because of it.

I love the concept of the blog being totally mine and I can develop it anyway I'd like. I don't tend to be a really creative person but I'm seeing some creativity developing.


Aida said...

Nicki, it's difficult being a people pleaser. At times, it can be like walking on egg shells or doing a balancing act trying to please everyone. That's no way to live and Jesus has freed us from all of that.

However, I've found that experiencing that freedom doesn't come right away. Father has to unravel a lot of things first and it always takes time.

I'm finding myself doing and saying things that I never would have said or done at one time. I'm also finding that as I grow more confident in who Father has made me to be that it's positively affecting my relationships.

I know Father brought us together so that we can share his life together and mutually encourage one another. I'm excited to see what Daddy has been teaching you and how you have just been learning and growing.

Thanks for being my friend.

Lots of love back to you,