Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Breaking the Facebook Habit

I held out for a long time. I had absolutely no desire to have a Facebook but several months ago due to a number of unusual circumstances, I decided to give it a try and I immediately became hooked. As my list of friends grew, the number of status reports on my home page increased each day. I found myself reading what everybody had eaten for breakfast. I read about someone’s run to the grocery store to buy milk. I got daily reports from runners who were training for a marathon. Interspersed among all of this chatter, I found an occasional blog or quote that encouraged me.

The only thing I didn’t realize was that all of this focus on chit chat was robbing me of something I needed desperately . . . my blogging friends. As Facebook consumed more of my time, I found myself reading less of the blogs that I had grown to love and that had encouraged me on my journey.

I didn’t realize there was a problem until recently when loneliness once again began to be my companion. About a year and a half ago, when I connected with a group of bloggers, I noticed that loneliness was no longer a problem. I felt a strong and deep connection with them that totally displaced the loneliness. Yet, recently, it seems like I can’t shake it.

Facebook has it’s good points but, I’ve discovered that it doesn’t satisfy my need for close relationships such as I had experienced through blogging. I find it hard to develop deep relationships on Facebook and I want to re-connect with all of my friends and again experience the friendships I once had. So, I’ve made a decision. I don’t plan to quit Facebook but blogging comes first and, if there’s time left over, then I’ll check out Facebook.


Bino M. said...

Aida - I think it's a good idea. To be honest, FB consumes a lot of my time too... I like it, but as you said, it's good for status updates, but not so great for establishing heart-level relationships.

If look at my blogging history, these days I post very infrequently - 4 or 5 posts a month. It used to be 8-10 a month. Another reason is, its summer now and I usually spend sometime everyday outdoors with my kids.

Anyways, I too prefer blogging over any other online activities. I too feel like home when I interact with our family of bloggers. So I am glad you are changing your priorities. Looking forward to reading more of your posts. Needless to mention that I truly enjoy everything you write.

Love you, sister!

Leonard said...

Thanks for sharing this Aida, you spoke to some things that I had given no small amount of thought to, looks like we've both decided to return to our first love...

And I use that term loosely...
Thanks again sis.

Aida said...

Leonard, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

It may be different for someone else but Facebook just doesn’t feel like a community to me. For me it actually seems to hinder relationship. I was involved in another social network and made some friends and the relationship was growing. Then . . . we all switched to Facebook and now we NEVER talk. I really miss them so I’m going to contact them and discuss it with them. But, I know we can’t always go back to the way things were but we’ll see.

And, just like you said, we’ve decided to return to our first love. We’ve been gone too long.

Leonard said...

Bino, yes this is the place that i met you both so I couldnt agree more also I was thinking about trimming my blog roll down to those I interact with, you know just family to simplify things, sorry just blowing some thoughts through my brain...

Aida said...

I’m sorry, Bino. I put my blog on moderation and I’m still not used to it so I didn’t realize you had commented until after I answered Leonard.

Well, it sounds like there are at least three of us and I bet there are more. When I started this post, I originally entitled it “The Seductiveness of Facebook.” Maybe I should have stuck with that title seems it seems to fit.

Like you, I was spending more and more time on Facebook but not developing any really deep relationships and I was also neglecting a lot of the ones I already had.

My blogging was also suffering. I usually posted once a week and now it was a whole lot less. Now, I hope to get back to once a week. Also, I started catching up and reading the blogs that I subscribe to. I started yesterday and read through three blogs and already I felt the connection returning.

I love you, too and I’m looking forward to chatting with you more on our blogs instead of on Facebook.

Aida said...

Leonard, I think that’s a great idea! I’ve thought about doing the same thing but never have done it. Since I feel like I’m starting anew, I think now’s a good time to do it. That way I can spend more time with our blogging family.

I’m starting to get excited! It’s like a new start!

Pumpuli said...

Hello, Aida!
I have been noticing something similar... Now I have real reason to be on Facebook as I have connected with many people who are free believers. What does not happen, though, is getting to know people in a more personal way. You must have gathered it already thst I am quite alone with my faith and with the release I feel as an effect of Darin's teaching and others at FBN. I live with my husband, with whom these are no topics of conversation. Thank God I got rid of the Rabsomed Heart worldview which had put me back into bondage to attempting to control my life via spiritual warfare. That resulted in me fervently expecting my husband to get real about faith and participate in the control of it. From that point of view it seemed that our life was bound to be a drag unless he was transformed into a prayer warrior and someone who'd not know wich way to turn at a junction without specifically asking God. Now I don't feel any need to pressure him nor am I stressed out about him not becoming what they thought was the only way to survive. Obviously, I don't see our life as a hopeless fight any more.

I have realized Facebook takes up so much of my time that I don't have time to think about what I have learned and to really discuss things with anyone. I have met a host of interesting people I'd like to get to know there, but, it's not likely that they will have the time or interest. As for you, Aida, I sensed from the beginning that you are someone I would like to know better. I appreciate your welcome to approach you.

I don't have blogging friends, but I think I'm someone who cannot handle a very large company of contacts. I used to try and it wore me down.

I'm planning to take it lighter at Fb and try to concentrate better.

I am so glad, Aida, that you are there and I can write to you! I have obtained a hunch that you have discernment and balance that I think come from independent thinking and experience.

Let's talk again soon.


Aida said...

Kirsti, I can really relate to your situation. Like you, my husband and I aren’t in agreement about what we believe. Since no husband and wife are ever in total agreement, we’ve got to accept that there will be differences and not try to manipulate our mates into conforming to our expectations.

I’m glad you’re no longer trying to control your circumstances through spiritual warfare. Freeing your husband to be who he is and accepting where he is on his journey is very freeing for the two of you. It’s good that you understand that the teaching about spiritual warfare is actually bondage since it’s based on a works mentality rather than simply resting in Father’s love and trusting him to do the work.

I enjoy Facebook and I think it does fulfill a purpose but it’s not my favorite place to be involved. I really much prefer one on one conversations where I can get to know the other person and they can get to know me.

Online groups like Facebook can be very addicting. I found that I was getting too scattered so I’ve had to back off from a lot of groups I had joined. I found they were distracting me from what I love to do which is developing one on one friendships.

I appreciate your kind words and I’m glad we’re friends. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s always good to hear from you.

Pumpuli said...

I seem to have written a little too much for a public blog post. Feel free to omit it if you like.

BTW, have I told you that Pumpuli means Cotton Ball and it's the name of my other cat, who is a ragdoll. He's not mine any more really, even though he's alive and well. Due to excessive amounts od fine white and long cat hair we had to give him up. It was a miracle for a cat-loving couple to turn up just some kilometre away from us that wanted a third one! They are family to a friend of mine, which allows me to trust them with someone so precious. I used to borrow my furry friend's name for blogging. He said he didn't mind ;) It seems to me he didn't mind moving in with the new family, but that's something I cannot know for sure. I felt as if God wanted for me to let him go. It was not easy. I'm looking forward to getting to see him again soon.

Aida said...

Kirsti, what you wrote was just fine and I appreciate you taking the time to write a response.

I was wondering about your name so I’m glad you explained. That’s a beautiful name and I like the meaning too. Ragdolls are supposed to make wonderful pets so I know you’re sad to have given him up. Hopefully, he’s enjoying his new home and maybe you can go visit him soon.